


i repeat, he is not my test tube baby

by antukini



Series: sleepy does camp nano april 2020 [19]
Category: Naruto, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crossover, Dimension Travel, F/M, Gen, M/M, hashirama stop abusing tobirama's door challenge, hashirama's a closet troll, tobirama knows this very well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:21:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23735299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antukini/pseuds/antukini
Summary: Not even a full twenty-four hours since Bakugou arrived and left their reality, another drops in.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Mito, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara (Pre-relationship)
Series: sleepy does camp nano april 2020 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1686649
Comments: 5
Kudos: 371





	i repeat, he is not my test tube baby

**Author's Note:**

> prompt fill for anonymous on tumblr who requested: Oh oh! How about a prompt where a few hours after Bokugo left the founders era in Naruto Todoroki suddenly shows up and everyone is instantly reminded of Itama because of his two - toned hair. And maybe also see his quirk and Hashirama is once again like "How many test tube babies did you guys make!?!"
> 
> anon is a whole genius

Tobirama was just finishing up the last—miracle of miracles, his desk hadn’t been piled with work while they had been entertaining Bakugou-san that morning and he had his training session with Madara and his students; today was truly unusual—document he had on his desk that afternoon when his office door flew open.

Tobirama sighed. He’d been hoping his brother’s incoming signature was just passing by, perhaps to finally deliver that signed document the office two doors away required before starting their project.

Hashirama better not be using another ridiculous excuse to skip work or he’ll be forced to sic Mito on him and let the winds be his judges.

“Tobira, be serious with me.” Well now. How odd for his brother to be so uncharacteristically solemn for the second time today.

“What is it now, anija?” Tobirama raised his head to face his brother when he lifted his brush after a final flourish of ink on the page.

A blank-faced teenager with two-toned hair peeked out from behind Hashirama as he spoke, in a falsely calm tone, “How many test tube babies did you make?”

Tobirama had to pause to gather his thoughts. The unknown teenager’s hair reminded him so much of _Itama’s—_

No. This wasn’t the time for that. He shook himself out of his darkening train of thought.

“We’ve already talked about this earlier. Stop playing obtuse.” The teenager moved from behind Hashirama and now Tobirama could clearly see his attire. Brow raised, Tobirama addressed him instead, “From your attire, I gather you are familiar with Bakugou-san?”

“…Mm.”

Less explosive than Bakugou then. He dried his brush with a quick flick of his fingers before putting it aside; he noted the yet-unnamed teen’s gaze following his movements.

But before that, “Anija, have you finished your paperwork?”

“It’s just the one left!” Hashirama wailed, robes as animated as he was.

“I don’t care. Finish it then come back here.” Tobirama glared at Hashirama when he made to protest. “Now.”

Hashirama pouted and looked only a step away from stomping his feet in a childish tantrum but melodramatically made his exit back through the door he’d almost murdered earlier. What a busybody.

He beckoned the near imperceptibly fidgeting teenager inside, gesturing to the couch. Never had he been more glad that Hashirama kept on whining to have couches in all the offices, Tobirama didn’t think anyone, let alone a teenager, would appreciate the stiff chairs at his desk more fit for torture than comfort—the discomfort the chairs caused did save him from worse headaches by way of unnecessary chatter, though.

Tobirama arranged his papers and scrolls into orderly stacks for the runners to deliver and checks off his mental lists to let his guest settle himself on the couch without scrutiny.

Papers and scrolls organized and mental checklists complete, Tobirama walked to take a seat across his guest.

“I am Senju Tobirama,” he introduces himself with a nod.

“Todoroki Shouto. You said something about Bakugou?” he said in that odd dialect of his.

“Hm. Yes. He arrived only hours ago. He was a pleasant conversationalist—"

At this, Todoroki’s eyebrow raised. Hm.

“—and he also mentioned that the ‘quirk’ that transported him here lasts for five hours. Am I correct to assume that the same quirk transported you here?”

Todoroki nodded, face still as blank as when he arrived aside from the brief brow-raise.

“How was it that you also arrived here then?”

“When Bakugou returned—apparently the five hours were just for the world someone was transported to, only ten minutes passed when he got back—, we already had the villain tied and had already called the police but he struggled enough to tip over to me. He activated his quirk and I ended up at Hashirama-san’s office.”

With his blunt and flat report, Tobirama could understand how his brother could assume, even jokingly, that the child was his.

“Bakugou didn’t mention meeting you. Well, we didn’t get to talk at all, actually, since I got transported only five minutes since he got back. I guess he was calmer when he got back though,” he said, putting his chin to his hand in a thinking gesture.

Before Tobirama could reply, the banged open again to make way for two men.

“Anija, do show my door at least a modicum of respect, it’s been abused twice by you within only an hour.”

Hashirama laughed sheepishly and rubbed a hand behind his head, Madara behind him looking a bit annoyed.

Tobirama sighed. “Come sit. Our guest will be here for four more hours.”

As the newcomers settled in, Todoroki’s stomach gave out a growl. Tobirama immediately got up and went to a nearby wall to grab some snacks, not serving their guest would be bad form.

“W—” Hashirama started but slumped just as quickly. “When did you start stashing snacks in there?”

“Bold of you to assume I never had them in the first place,” Tobirama said calmly as Hashirama started flailing, Madara in his seat going through a routine of facial acrobatics. “Wondering where your snacks went, anija?”

Hashirama gasped. Madara moved to avoid the elbow that lashed worryingly near his face. “YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOOK THEM??”

“I said no such thing,” Tobirama said, setting down the snacks, cups, and tea kettle he had readied for his afterwork tea, returning to his seat after. Taking his filled cup, he hid the smile that had been trying to creep up his face.

After a no small amount of whining, they entertained their young guest with discussions about their worlds. Along the way, Todoroki demonstrated his quirk: the ability to generate ice from his right and fire from his left. Tobirama mentally remarked on its usefulness.

All throughout, though, Hashirama was oddly a bit more hushed, chakra churning in Tobirama’s senses. Not much but enough to be more than noticeable.

With less than an hour left to their guest’s visit, Hashirama finally opened his mouth and aired out his thoughts.

“Are you sure he’s not a test tube baby by you and Madara?”

Tobirama contemplated how much easier his life would be if his brother had a filter for stupidity but then discarded it because that just sounded out of character.

Madara sputtered loudly, face heating so fast Tobirama was worried he might get a stroke.

“ _Anija._ ” Tobirama put his head in his hands. This was getting insufferable.

“He controls—”

“It’s more I create them, actually,” Todoroki interjected.

“—fire and water—”

“Ice, anija. He creates _ice_.” Tobirama’s voice was muffled by his hands. Hashirama’s inanities could probably physically suffocate Tobirama since they were so abundant.

“—and he behaves similarly to both of you!” Hashirama finished, arms splaying out. Both Tobirama—head still in his hands—and Madara had to dodge to avoid getting brained.

“As much as having both of them as my fathers would be nice, I, unfortunately, know very well who my parents are.” Todoroki’s voice sounded heavy.

“But—”

“But nothing, anija. Cease with your nonsense or I’ll feed you your favorite haori. You’re being deliberately obtuse; don’t forget I can feel your chakra,” Tobirama said, tone sharp.

“Ah, caught.” Hashirama wasn’t sorry at all. That joke was going to get old quick.

“Well before this. I’ve known you for years, you closet troll.”

“You adore me anyway.”

“Hmph,” Tobirama huffed and turned his face away to hide the niggling smile on his face.

“And you call Izuna and I dramatic, you hypocritical Senju,” Madara said, gaze judging as he clutched his cup of tea.

“You are. We never said we weren’t.” Tobirama smirked.

Madara declined to retort, sipping his tea.

A comfortable silence ensued, periodically interrupted by snacks being consumed and tea being poured.

Tobirama sensed a shift in the air again and put his cup of tea down. Hashirama and Madara followed suit.

“It was nice talking with you, Todoroki-san,” Tobirama said in farewell.

“Ah. You as well.” Todoroki nodded.

“Take care over there!” Hashirama was as sunny as ever.

Madara snorted. “Try not to get transported to alternate realities again.”

That earned him a faint glare that faded quickly.

“Thank you. Goodbye.” Then he was gone in a flash of light. It was only through quick reflexes that they weren’t temporarily blinded.

Hashirama then jumped off the couch. “Well then! I’ll be going ahead to see my wife!” He slammed the door open again and bounded out.

Madara shifted in his seat but then aborted the movement to stand up and turn to leave.

That wouldn’t do.

“Dinner?” Tobirama asked, getting up from his couch to clean up the small table they had used.

“What?” Madara whipped around to face him, hair whirling, a cautious gleam in his eyes.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

It seems he’s caught the Uchiha completely off-guard. “I— WH— YOU— _WHATEVER!_ ”

“Is that a yes?” Laughing at Madara now would scare him away, better not do that.

“FINE! YES!” Madara blurted out, eyes widening when his words registered.

“Excellent.” Tobirama walked out and turned when Madara still hadn’t moved from his spot. “Are you or are you not coming?”

Madara stomped closer, muttering about _insufferable Senju_ and _smooth bastard_ s.

Tobirama supposed he’s not at all wrong.

A smirk tugged at his lips, Izuna was going to regret going on his personal mission that led him to miss this.

**Author's Note:**

> the tumblr post of this prompt fill is [here](https://antukini.tumblr.com/post/615833806811824128/oh-oh-how-about-a-prompt-where-a-few-hours-after)
> 
> as much as i would have loved todoroki oversharing, i just didn’t know how they—tobirama in particular—could stop descending into cold murderous rage so i just didn’t go there hsdkfjsa
> 
> now i’m really contemplating what would happen if tobirama figured out a way to dimension-hop and saw them again ~~what if he just up and adopts 1-a omg aizawa and tobirama being parental besties and having joint custody~~
> 
> [tumblr](https://antukini.tumblr.com/)   
>  [twitter](https://twitter.com/antukini)


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